The following letter is from Carol Mardeusz whose case is at the center of the Recall effort against District Marin County District Attorney Paula Kamena.



By Carol Mardeusz

(1)    I recall driving to the hospital at 3:00 a.m. in the morning, with one hand on the steering wheel and the other on my stomach, pulling over time after time to (take a) Le Maze Breath.

(2)    I recall the ladies from the Petaluma Valley Hospital Auxiliary  Staff sewing a "Pumpkin Sleeping Bag" for all the new arrivals born near Halloween, and the nurses bring you so sweetly to me in the very small orange covering.

(3)    I recall your big, blue eyes and the way you would twirl your little fingers around my hair as you drank your bottle.

(4)    I recall your little pink blanket and your little white shoes; (and) yes, I saved them.

(5)    I recall your big sister prayed for a little sister, and years later you were born and you followed her everywhere.

(6)    I recall our trip to Hawaii; you in my arms and your sister beside walking on the beach of Maui, playing in the sand, watching the waves and honoring the glory of new life.

(7)     I recall the little games we use to play and sing.  I would say in a funny voice, "Who loved you baby?!!"  And, you would answer back in your own funny voice, "You do, mommy!!"  And, I would then say, "You got that right!!"  And, then we would laugh and hug..... and you'd fall fast asleep.  I miss that.  I miss you.

(8)     I recall your big sister learned to crochet just to make you some booties, a special gift to welcome you.  She only made one crookedly stitched little bootie with the buttons sewn over on the top, but her love was there.

(9)    I recall Sonoma County Courts granting full custody of my daughter, to me, after a visit to her father, which ended in tragedy;  under the influence of cocaine and alcohol her father threw her on a car and attacked some neighbors.

(10)   I recall a few weeks after the incident my daughter's father was placed in Ross Valley Hospital for cocaine and alcohol addiction and mental problems.  He then had a massive heart attack.  When we returned to court, all visits with our daughter and her father were limited and supervised.

(11)   I recall a sudden change in our happy household, when CPS (Child Protective Services) discovered that my (youngest) daughter was being molested by her father and his mother at visits.  They were arrested and booked and fingerprinted by the Novato Police Department for "lewd and lascivious acts against a minor".

(12)   I recall that after the authorities began an investigation, that my children and I were continuously stalked by telephone and on the streets of our Petaluma neighborhood.  There was a man waiting outside my daughter's classroom, who had no business at the school; there was a man in a vehicle, who followed my (oldest) daughter and her friend to a schoolmate's home.  There was a man lurking in our driveway late at night when we arrived home.  The Petaluma Police were notified and a report made; my daughter's school was notified and other mothers in the neighborhood with children.    A week later, a child who looked identical to my (oldest) daughter , 2 and 1/2 blocks away, was stalked, kidnapped and later found murdered.

(13)   I recall the Marin County District Attorney's office dropping the criminal prosecution against the abusers of my (youngest) child and ordering the Novato Police Department to destroy the physical evidence, known as (a) culpascope photograph; my daughter did not have half a chance to be protected.

(14)   I recall the civil prosecution in Sonoma County being rescheduled eighteen (18) times over a period of three and one half years; and, during this time, as we waited for justice, none came!  Instead, the abusers obtained an order, temporary in nature, without my knowledge from a different judge and gained access to my daughter to silence and continue to abuse her.   They have managed to subvert justice and keep my daughter from her sister and me, although we were the only family she had known.  We have not seen her for five years and we do not know anyone who has.

(15)   I recall the times your sister,  you and I laughed and sang and prayed together, that God would bless our happy home.  Now, your sister and I pray alone for your safe return to us; it is not an option.  We will never give up on you.  We love you.

(16)   I recall an article in the local newspaper where Paula Kamena campaigned to be Chief District Attorney (for Marin County), stating a platform that if she was elected to office, domestic violence and abuse against children would be taken seriously, and victims who sought protection would be given protection.  I believed the local newspaper and I believed District Attorney (aspirant) Kamena and voted for her.  After the truth was known to me, Kamena lost my support and the newspaper lost my subscription.  Boo for the teller of lies; boo for the writer of lies.

(17)   I recall the thousands of prayers offered for the safe return of my little girl, from family, friends, strangers on the street, churches and court watcher prayer vigils.

(18)   I recall the Child Protective Services (CPS)  worker, telling me and my brother that since the abusers of my daughter  had hired "The Rose Law Firm" of Sonoma County and paid the price, that my little girl was now one of the children that CPS refers to as "a sacrificial lamb of the system" - meaning all hope for justice has been lost because the price was paid.

(19)   I recall we missed you for days.  I recall we missed you for months.  I recall we missed you for years.  I recall praying, and then knowing, that we'd have you back again, because God only works for good.

(20)   I recall telling you that, "I'd never give up on you," and then knowing that justice would one day be served.  Hope was never lost.

(21)   I recall being charged with attempted abduction of my little girl, who I have not laid eyes on in five years.  Because I filled out an application to enforce an existing restraining order and showed the actual fraud committed against myself and my daughter, showing I have the only original custody order and the father obtained a fraudulent order while we waited for a hearing on the molest issues, I was prosecuted by District Attorney Kamena who had early on dropped the criminal prosecution against the abusers and then ordered the Novato Police Department destroy the physical evidence, known as culpascope photographs.  The truth was not allowed to be told once again.  I was seeking protection for my daughter who I had not been allowed to see for five year against domestic violence and child abusers.

(22)   I recall being taught my whole life that you can seek help from abuse through the police, Child Protective Services, and the District Attorney.  This is not so in Marin County.  Justice is bought here and life goes on.  But the quality of life for the abused is a living hell.

(23)   I recall being empowered by other justice seeking groups along my plight to seek help for my daughter; some who have lost their own family homes to fraudulent dealings surrounding the probate court; some who have lost their life savings to protect themselves against false criminal charges; some, who have lost their own children through illegal dealings in Family Law Court.  They have the wrong lawyer or the purse is empty.  Some who have been attacked by the court system for possessing legally prescribed cannabis to combat the effects of medical illnesses, including glaucoma, stomach cancer, aids, anorexia nervousness and back spasms.  People helping people - something we need more of these days.

(24)   I recall a brave Public Defender who fought on my behalf and showed the Court that the District Attorney that, in fact, I do have the only valid custody order and that my daughter should be returned immediately to my care.

(25)   I recall the District Attorney (Kamena), after hearing that I had the only custody order and seeing the supporting evidence of the fraud committed against me and my daughter, then called for a grand jury and suborned perjured testimony from witnesses called to falsely prosecute me for attempting to protect my child.  I never made any attempt to kidnap my child, but only went to the court for help and protection.

(26)   I recall 20,600 Marian County residents who signed a petition to recall the (Marian County) District Attorney Paula Kamena, for committing criminal acts against public justice and (against) the citizens of Marin County.

(27)   I recall the Marin County Board of Supervisors announcing a majority vote to hold a Special Election on May 22, 2001, to recall the District Attorney, Paula Kamena.  Irony and Justice - hand in hand - May 22nd is my birthday!

(28)   I recall years of abuse and oppression against my family, and I've heard the story from others who have been abused.  But I also recall that the people of Marin have read the recall petition and have used their power to recall, to bring justice to so many of us who are waiting.  Hope is not lost --- and prayers are answered.  Thank you Marin residents


A Novato Mom
Carol Mardeusz
Marin County Jail

Carol Mardeusz © 2/8/01