by Mary Midnight - December 12, 2011, midnight.

I am Mary Midnight. I provide to you the People’s Daily Intelligence Briefing gleaned through my diverse nocturnal contacts from California to Washington D.C. from Nome to Miami, who extract it from those familiar with the President’s Daily Intelligence Briefing. You think anything is classified? If it can’t be hacked. Thus, anti-hackers put their thumbs in the intelligence dams to keep things classified. The biggest secret in the world is the biggest power, eh? And are the anti-hackers keeping the secrets they protect? Moreover, are the anti-hackers more competent than the hackers? No. Thus, what is classified is a flash in the pan. Nothing worse than yesterday’s intelligence. And every bit of intelligence is yesterday-ish.                        

So, at least one U.S. drone went down somehow in Iran recently – who dunnit – a Lee Harvey Oswald U-2 type betrayal? To think the Soviet’s shooting down the U-2 when Ike was President was a major international crisis, and this drone “shoot-down” or “whatever-down” of 2011 is making skulls merely slightly numb. President Obama has asked Iran for its return – it must be intact. Hacked not cracked? Come, kindergartners – U.S. troops have already invaded Iran and are recovering the man-less robot superfly. The President may be a push-over for Trillionaires as against Worker-Slaves in Manhattan, but he’s a Tom-Cat in the war of terror-prone mice v. terror-prone men playing the terror trauma history game. Obama is drenched in the blood of such mice-men he has put to death. O Knight John Bolton and O Your Lordship, the mighty Newt Gingrich, Obama is eating your Iran war plans as he prepares to pounce upon Tehran. Newt, listen to a woman of the deepest night for once -- playing catch-up to Obama’s next war in Iran will not win you an election. Obama will be bombing and you will have no choice but to cheer – after all you glued yourself to war with Iran – it’s just that it will be Obama’s Iran war – not yours. It is. It is now. Check out the drone in Iran, dear. Have the guys who took out Bin Laden secured it yet? Blown it to smithereens? Or taken those who took it?  O Newt, review the history of Woodrow Wilson, such a peaceful man, going to war at last, for, of course, “a war to end all wars”. God save us from all the professor-Presidents and their peculiar dissociations -- wars!

But let me try again. The night is young. You know, Newt, Midnight’s contacts say you have a chance to be President because you are of a genius level of intellect and your tongue matches your IQ at times. And the word is out that fall 2012 is not a season for the Republicans to go stupid again. You and Obama – two silver tongues waving in the wind! Aye -- in the whirlwind of war.

You love Churchill, Newt? He said, “More jaw, jaw and less war, war.” Obama took Winston’s marble bust out of his office. Lord Norman Denning reported in his autobiography that when he was a young intelligence officer accompanying Churchill from No. 10 through the underground bunker to go to the Admiralty, they stopped to share a brandy, and as German bombs burst over London, Churchill said, "Unrestricted submarine warfare, unrestricted air bombing -- this is total war. Time and the Ocean and some guiding star and a High Cabal have made us what we are."

Isn’t it strange that a man like Obama is the darling of the world’s High Cabal – their man to run America and the world? Midnight hears they picked him because no one could get a grip about who he was and is and they never ever will. Maybe a hundred years from now when the full Warren Report also comes out. Dear Newt, only if you show yourself to be smarter than Obama on a few evolving events, will the High Cabal select you over him. We who run the night warn you -- Obama’s smarts are in being careful, especially being careful about himself. Your smarts, Newt, are in being bold – and that can hurt a man. Can you take all the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune bold men must take? Obama – never did, never had to, and won’t have to. Why? Some the High Cabal protects for a time. Just for a time. Some it kills fast. All end up the same who play with them. They giveth and they taketh away. Newt, you’re getting yourself in deeper than you ever knew. Courage!

As I dictate this Intelligence Briefing to my acolytes, 5.3 million people are on a pilgrimage to Mexico City’s Basilica of the Virgin of Guadalupe for Christmas. The icon of the Virgin was impressed on a cloth tilma or apron worn by Juan Diego Cuauhtlatoatzin, an Indian peasant who saw the Virgin appear before him in 1531 – a miracle. The Basilica houses the original icon. 5.3 million people are walking to see a miracle – to see the Virgin? To see a saint? To know the truth? Christmas and Hanukkah celebrate miracles. Mary Midnight warns ye, “Do not scoff at miracles!” The People’s Daily Intelligence Briefing informs you that a miracle must occur to save America, the human race and the Earth. No one has a time-travel ship and sufficient data scanners – yet – to go back and to determine if all the claimed miracles from most ancient times – such as those the Bible records until now – such as your great auntie finding her cancer is in miraculous remission -- actually did occur or did not occur. So although miracles may not be probable, they are possible. Especially now. I tell you hope is passé, a miracle is the only way. Believing in the possibility of a miracle and keeping eyes and ears open for one day by day on one’s pilgrimage – to wherever that may be -- is all that is left to us now. 5.3 million men, women and children walking onward to the heart of Mexico City looking for a miracle. Perhaps the Virgin will appear and announce, “Greed is now eradicated.” Perhaps she will provide food, shelter and health through this holy edict.  My dear, sweat undergraduates out there, I might as well be totally honest tonight – your very next breath is a miracle. Prove me wrong. I say, “Give us this day, our daily miracle!”

But alas! The seed of the Great Depression of the future – think it can’t get worse? – was just planted. I must prophesy. Currently, U.S. Securities law forbids corporations – those headless, legless, armless, heartless “persons” -- from selling their shares of stock online. On November 3, 2011, as fateful as the date of the repeal of the Glass Steagall Act (which sent our economy into the dump), the House of Representatives passed The Entrepreneur Access to Capital Act (H.R. 2930). It will create a loophole from securities registration requirements. Corporations will be allowed to raise $1 million annually from individual investors online, and $2 million if a corporation provides audited financials. Investors can invest annually the lesser of $10,000 or 10% of their annual income. Mary Midnight hears that this is the new “instrument”. O the law of instruments – you snake of the law, how slippery and grand! And the new law has a cute nickname – “crowdfunding” – so social network-y. So face-y! It will replace the mortgages, junk bonds, hedge funds, derivatives and various arcane instruments of yore – which people now fear like the plague unless they have insider sophistication such as members of Congress and the Judiciary have. Come all ye people, yearning to be rich – buy online stock from small corporations – from the next Apple, Google, Facebook, Microsoft! Give it the old Romney bet -- $10K. Well, we all now know what a Romney bet is! Or invest 10% of your income – far less than the whopper 31% to 50% of your gross income you had to pay out for to be a mortgage slave for a hunk of brick and mortar, which could be foreclosed upon in a mere 100 days in California, if you could not timely pay the monthly payment in full, and which was supposed to escalate in value, but then dived to the bottom like a leaky submarine. And look who is now promoting this new law in the Senate! On November 9, 2011, Senator Scott Brown (R-Mass) introduced his own crowdfunding bill which puts lower thresholds on investments. Will the Senate pass his or the House bill or some cute mishmash?  Merry Christmas, small investors the world over who want to invest online a few dollars here, a few dollars there and get rich quick! Talk about impossible-to-regulate instruments – crowdfunding online stocks. How many Elizabeth Warrens can dance on the head of this pin which Mr. Brown and Wall Street hope will pin up their falling petticoats? It’s online gambling by any other name.

For good cheer, here is some pre-history -- eating elephants. A new article in PLoS ONE, 2011; 6 (12) states that humans were eating elephants raw until about 400,000 years ago in the Middle East, at which time elephants died out – over-hunted by humans. Yes, humans ran out of elephants to eat. Bet you didn’t know that one! Thus, humans were forced to hunt more evasive tricky smaller animals and had to improve their hunting skills, and thus their brains. “Smarter” modern humans then emerged. Well, at least they became smarter at killing little tricky critters. So Eden was a whole bunch of elephants to eat with ease. For further information, see

Finally, for your enjoyment and analysis, until I return tomorrow night at the witching hour, here is the poem of the day by a great explorer and a great lover of Queen Elizabeth I whom she did order to be beheaded. If truth be told, she cried afterwards for the longest time.

The Lie
                                                                                 Sir Walter Raleigh, 1552

Go, Soul, the body's guest,
Upon a thankless arrant!
Fear not to touch the best;
The truth shall be thy warrant:
Go, since I needs must die,
And give the world the lie.
Say to the court it glows
And shines like rotten wood;
Say to the church it shows
What's good, and doth no good:
If court and church reply,
Then give them both the lie.
Tell potentates they live
Acting by others' action,
Not loved unless they give,
Not strong but by a faction.
If potentates reply,
Give potentates the lie.
Tell men of high condition
That manage the estate,
Their purpose is ambition,
Their practice only hate:
And if they make reply,
Then give them all the lie.
Tell them that brave it most,
They beg for more by spending,
Who, in their greatest cost,
Seek nothing but commending:
And if they make reply,
Then give them all the lie.
Tell zeal it wants devotion;
Tell love it is but lust;
Tell time it is but motion;
Tell flesh it is but dust:
And wish them not reply,
For thou must give the lie.
Tell age it daily wasteth;
Tell honor how it alters;
Tell beauty how she blasteth;
 Tell favor how she falters:
And as they shall reply,
Give everyone the lie.
Tell wit how much it wrangles
In tickle points of niceness; “
Tell wisdom she entangles
Herself in over-wiseness:
And when they do reply,
Straight give them both the lie.
Tell physic of her boldness;
Tell skill it is pretension;
Tell charity of coldness;
Tell law it is contention:
And as they do reply,
So give them still the lie.
Tell fortune of her blindness;
Tell nature of decay; “
Tell friendship of unkindness;
Tell justice of delay:
And if they will reply,
Then give them all the lie.
Tell arts they have no soundness,
But vary by esteeming;
Tell schools they want profoundness,
And stand too much on seeming:
If arts and school reply,
Give arts and school the lie.
Tell faith it fled the city;
Tell how the country erreth;
Tell manhood shakes off pity;
Tell virtue least preferreth:
And if they do reply,
Spare not to give the lie.
So when thou hast, as I
Commanded thee, done blabbing,--
Although to give the lie
Deserves no less than stabbing,--
Stab at thee, he that will,
No stab the soul can kill.